It is impossible to properly set any place setting-formal, very formal or informal, unless you know what is being served. Once you know the menu, you can set the table. Keep in mind the following few "basics:"

• forks on the left, knives and spoons on the right
• dessert utensils rest horizontally above the dinnerplate
• solids on the left; beverages on the right
• serve on the left; clear from the right
• pass left to right (counter clock-wise)

There are two types of toasts:

1. The first is less formal and offered at the beginning of the dinner; the host may or may not stand, hold his/her glass up and, making eye-contact with as many people, as often as possible, welcoming everyone to the event/dinner.
2. The second, more formal toast again is offered by the host who should rise and offer the toast typically to the person of honor who is seated to the right of the host.

Rule: one may never drink to one's self -- including at a wedding!

It is then the responsibility of the person of honor to rise, and graciously accept the lovely toast which has just been proposed in their honor. Other toasts and roasts may then follow.

The knife and fork should be used with bacon unless it is very crisp, it may be eaten with the fingers.

Regarding passing at the table: the rule is, pass left to right; counter clockwise. Regarding serving and clearing, the rule is: serve on the left, clear from the right. Note: when clearing, never stack the dishes, one dish in each hand .. even if it means several more trips also, never SCRAPE food onto one plate at the table.

Ideally, salad ... the lettuce should be prepared so that one would not have to cut it however, this is not always the case and there does exist the salad fork .... and knife, for this purpose. Not all patterns nor all restaurants provide the salad knife. In the absence of the salad knife, it is acceptable to use the dinner knife to cut salad i.e.lettuce, cucumbers, etc.

Americans typically cut asparagus with the fork and knife. In Europe, asparagus is eaten with the fingers. As we are now immersed in a global economy and encourage eating via both the American and Continental styles of dining, it would be acceptable to eat asparagus here in America, with your fingers knowing of course, that you are eating asparagus "European Style."

There is really only one correct way to shake hands here in America: - connect the "v"; between the thumb and index finger of your left hand with the "v" between the thumb and index finger of your right hand --- one to two "pumps"; and make eye contact!

Note: a good firm grasp is key; avoid sweaty palms by washing hands thoroughly before the anticipated handshake, using soap and drying thoroughly. There is nothing worse than a clammy handshake - a clammy handshake is the "kiss of death"!

The person who initiates the handshake is generally the person in control - which is what you want.

American style: knife rests along the top of the plate, cutting edge facing you ... not the glasses; switch the fork from the left to the right hand and scoop - not stab, food up with the fork which is again, now in your right hand.

European style: after cutting, bring food in to your mouth with the left hand, tines down. Resting position: cross fork over knife, as with the shield.

To indicate that you have finished, there is the Silent Service Code which, if you look at the plate as a clock, one would position your utensils in the 10:20 o'clock "I am finished" position. This is the silent signal to the waitron that indeed, you "have finished".

Note: tines are down if eating European and up, if eating American style. Also, the cutting edge of the knife should face inward toward you, not out, toward the glasses and finally, fork is closest to you and knife on the right side of the fork.

Most restaurateurs are more than accommodating when a customer encounters something like a hair or a bug in one's food/glass. They usually try to compensate guests by i.e. replacing the entire item and "comp" the meal or, if one's appetite is truly "ruined" might offer a gift certificate, etc. to return at another time.

In the case of the waitress playing with the spike which has pierced her tongue, I probably would avoid being seated in this restaurant to begin with if I noticed such a waitron... there are lots and lots of other restaurants!

Ladies should wear light colors and natural fabrics for a daytime wedding. Glitters are reserved for evening weddings. Today, it is OK for a guest to wear a white/off-white suit or dress. The "little black cocktail dress" is always appropriate. Weddings are a perfect time to bring out all your best and favorite jewelry that you've been "saving for a special occasion"...this is it! Be careful not to over-do it however. When in doubt - Don't!

For men...light colored/khaki suits are acceptable during the day in the summer - a dark suit is always appropriate and never wrong, day or night, unless you are in warm climate..